


Of Aunts, Nephews, and Trying To Get Ready For a Party

by ThePackWantstheD



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family, Gen, Human!Theta, Theta is North's kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:31:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2026914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePackWantstheD/pseuds/ThePackWantstheD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey, little man," she declared. She squatted down to his level, ruffling his hair. "Do you think you could tell your papa to hurry up?"</p><p>Theta shook his head, “Papa always takes a long time to get ready.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Aunts, Nephews, and Trying To Get Ready For a Party

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post (http://the-meta.tumblr.com/post/92912908255/no-but-human-theta-wearing-norths-ginourmous) by the-meta on tumblr!

South Dakota can feel her irritation and frustration rising.

"North!" she shouted, her arms folded as she stood in the doorway of her brothers tiny two bedroom apartment. "We were supposed to be at Connie’s place ten minutes ago! I am not getting to a surprise birthday party after the birthday boy!"

"We’ve still got an hour until Wash shows up and he’s always late to these kinds of things," North called back. "We’ll be fine."

She gave a frustrated groan, leaning her head back against the doorway.

"Aunt South, aunt South." The words were occupied with a sharp tug to her pant leg.

Glancing down, she found her nephew, Theta, staring up at her.

He was a spitting image of his father, and herself by default, with light blonde hair and blue eyes. There wasn’t a trace of his mother in his features, and for that South was grateful. It was still a miracle to her that North had fallen in love with such a vicious bitch in the first place - York liked to tease that North didn’t know how to deal with nice woman after dealing with South for his whole life - and he didn’t deserve to have to look at an image of her everyday.

"Hey, little man," she declared. She squatted down to his level, ruffling his hair. "Do you think you could tell your papa to hurry up?"

Theta shook his head, “Papa always takes a long time to get ready.”

South let out a soft laugh, “That’s true enough.”

"Aunt South, do you think Uncle Wash will like my present?" Theta held out a piece of paper for her, which took from his hands carefully. Flipping it over, she saw a picture with a tall blonde stick figure in gray and yellow clothing and a smaller blonde in what she recognized as Theta’s favorite pink tee-shirt. Both figures were standing on brightly colored lines. "It’s Uncle Wash and me when he was teaching me how to skateboard!"

"He’ll love it," South declared.

"Who will love what?" North questioned as he approached them from the direction of the bedrooms. He looked almost the same as he had when she’d arrived thirty minutes ago. She wondered what exactly he’d been doing that’d taken him so long to get ready. "Theta, it’s a little chilly. Go put on your sweatshirt."

"We were talking about Theta’s present for Wash," South declared as Theta walked towards his bedroom.

"Ah…" North gave a soft laugh. "He’s been working on that all week. I think he tore out half of his new sketchbook trying to get it perfect."

"Wash is gonna cry. He’s such a little bitch when it comes to Theta."

North gave her a look, the kind that clearly said I-want-yell-at-you-for-your-language-but-my-kid-isn’t-actually-in-the-room, before saying, “Probably.”

"Papa! My sweatshirt isn’t here," Theta said as he came back into the room.

"You were only gone for a minute," North chided. "You couldn’t possibly have looked in your closet and under your bed yet."

"I didn’t but I just remembered that I left my sweatshirt at school yesterday because it was too hot."

North stared at him for a minute before sighing, “Of course you did.” South watched as her brother tugged the purple and green sweatshirt he was wearing - it was old, from their days at Freelancer Academy and the dark purple had faded to a lighter color - off. “Come here buddy.”

Theta held still as his father pulled the sweatshirt over his head, wiggling his arms into the sleeves when he was prompted.   
  
When North stepped away, South felt as though someone had shot an arrow straight into her stone cold heart. Theta looked adorable with the sweatshirt hanging down to his knees and the sleeves flopping around as he tried to move them far enough down that he could see his hands again.

"Oh man," she said. She reached forward, grabbing Theta and smiling when he gave a soft ‘whoop’ at being picked up. Settling him on her hip, she nuzzled her cheek against his. "I have the cutest nephew ever."

Theta laughed, “Your hair is tickling me.”

"Sorry babes." Readjusting her hold on him, she looked at North, "Alright, let’s get going."

"Five year olds is a bit too old for you to still be carrying him around," North stated.

"Nah. I got another year before it’s any real issue."

North let out a chuckle. He shook his head as he opened the door, letting her slip out with Theta first, “Whatever you say, little sister.”


End file.
